Something New...
Just this morning, I watched an inspiring BYU Devotional. http://byutv.org/watch/9356fc9b-0bfa-435d-9714-be4c943de58d#ooid=9pdnE5NDpzFKkkLayBwZj_Hqd2ljLTbJ
I was inspired. I thought to myself of all my wasted time and energy in empty pursuits. Instead, I have wondered what my contribution to the world could be. Often, I've contemplated this, but without coming up with more than thinking my children are my contribution. I love them completely and am devoted to them. They are good children and have made me very happy by being good. They try hard themselves to contribute to their world in positive ways. My husband is amazing too. He is always serving us and others, definitely making this world a better place to be. But, other than to my loved ones, I am nothing. It hasn't really mattered to me before. But, after listening to this talk, I've contemplated what mark I could make.
First of all, I do realize that I am a daughter of God. That is something. Truly, this is the most comforting realization I could ever share, because all of us are either sons or daughters of our Heavenly Father.
I have a testimony of God that has carried me through some tough times. That is worth something. I don't know if I could lift another, but I do believe that this 'lifting of another' is my motive here in creating this blog. My own personal struggles and conflicts have driven me to seek answers to my questions. My beliefs about my life and raising a family is probably what I will talk about, mostly like a journal, except made accessible. What an idea! :) Silly notion! But, at the same time, this life is a struggle at times. If we can help one another get through it happier and with more peace, why not gift that to another. Here's my attempt at gifting peace.
Amy Jensen's devotional talk inspired me because she talked about her sister's contribution to a blog prior to her death from cancer. I now wish I had recorded all my whirling thoughts and feelings and prayers during my own bout with cancer. At the time, and even since, I have wanted to forget about it completely. I didn't want a record of it. I didn't want to think about it, contemplate it, or any of the above. I just wanted to forget about it and move on as quickly as I possibly could. But...life is tricky. I haven't been able to move very far from it at all. My healing process has not only been spiritual, but very physical as well. You might think that I mean this in reverse? But, no. They have both been hand in hand all the time. And as difficult as the spiritual healing has been for me, the physical has been brutal. I'm still healing and have very little patience with the process. Reflecting upon the speaker's sister's contemplations, I have been in a very different place.
The healing during cancer treatments was almost divine. It was a time of growing very close and personal with my Savior and my Heavenly Father. I was preparing to go home. I was trying my best to be ready. I could die. At any time.
But when I didn't--when I lived--things changed. The real battle for my life began.
Satan is real. He is a thwarter. He is a fiddler with our lives--our happiness. We cannot afford to listen to his voice, his temptations. Life has been tough because I have not healed well. I have not been able to get over being sick. My body, in every way, has gotten sicker. I have not healed from cancer. Satan has done his part to see me depressed. It's worked abundantly well. On many occasions, I have been tempted to take my own life and forget living in this state. But...
I've ignored him. Instead, I have chosen to listen to my Savior, and also to my Heavenly Father. They see me differently than Satan does. They see my whole life--past, present, future--in one moment. I have chosen to follow them. Now, I am the thwarter. I daily, most times, hourly--minute by minute--thwart Satan's plan to destroy me.
This plan works for all of us.
The process of healing has been long and arduous. I doubt now that it will ever be over. But, I am doing my best at it. This process includes both the spiritual aspects and physical too. As much struggle as life brings, there is also those precious moments of joy and happiness. Like yesterday. I was able to go to church, for the first time since January, and listen to my daughter, give a talk on the Atonement. She did very well. She gets it. She understands it. I'm grateful. She will grow to understand it even better as she grows older. We're all so blessed with this special gift given us by our Savior. Each of us, because of Him, will be resurrected someday. This does bring me joy and peace, especially because I do want to be with loved ones again. Even as I sit here typing, I just received a phone call from my Home Teacher simply calling to say how he enjoyed our daughter's talk and wanted me to pass it along to her. That touched my heart that he would take time out of herding cattle to call and say such a nice thing.
We also enjoyed a delicious dinner yesterday celebrating Easter. The girls helped me. It's nice having teenage daughters who want to help in the kitchen. It would be a completely different experience if I had to force their help...and knowing me, I would have. :) Thankfully, they accept being taught how to make a ham, etc. We also enjoyed scalloped potatoes (boxed, because I didn't want to slave on a Sunday), stuffing (again, boxed), gravy, deviled eggs (from all those Easter eggs), with condiments and a fresh drink. Apple juice and gingerale...yum!
Well, I told myself that since it was a holiday, I was going to enjoy this wonderful meal. I did enjoy it. It just didn't prove to be a smart thing. I've been on a careful diet for liver damage and diabetes for a few months. It's a good thing, and it is helping my health, overall. But I'm seeing that any time I step outside those provided guidelines, my body has a difficult time with certain foods. Again, I'm learning.
Well, enough for today. There will probably be no rhyme or rhythm to my blog posts, but I do believe I've said enough for one day.
To all of you who read my words, I do hope you feel something more than my whining. I probably will do more of it. But, again, my purpose is to help others see good in their lives. There is something good in our lives each day. It's those small moments that we must challenge ourselves to hold on to that bring us joy. The opposition we experience has the ability to make us more than we presently are.
All my blessings to you,
Ellise
Just this morning, I watched an inspiring BYU Devotional. http://byutv.org/watch/9356fc9b-0bfa-435d-9714-be4c943de58d#ooid=9pdnE5NDpzFKkkLayBwZj_Hqd2ljLTbJ
I was inspired. I thought to myself of all my wasted time and energy in empty pursuits. Instead, I have wondered what my contribution to the world could be. Often, I've contemplated this, but without coming up with more than thinking my children are my contribution. I love them completely and am devoted to them. They are good children and have made me very happy by being good. They try hard themselves to contribute to their world in positive ways. My husband is amazing too. He is always serving us and others, definitely making this world a better place to be. But, other than to my loved ones, I am nothing. It hasn't really mattered to me before. But, after listening to this talk, I've contemplated what mark I could make.
First of all, I do realize that I am a daughter of God. That is something. Truly, this is the most comforting realization I could ever share, because all of us are either sons or daughters of our Heavenly Father.
I have a testimony of God that has carried me through some tough times. That is worth something. I don't know if I could lift another, but I do believe that this 'lifting of another' is my motive here in creating this blog. My own personal struggles and conflicts have driven me to seek answers to my questions. My beliefs about my life and raising a family is probably what I will talk about, mostly like a journal, except made accessible. What an idea! :) Silly notion! But, at the same time, this life is a struggle at times. If we can help one another get through it happier and with more peace, why not gift that to another. Here's my attempt at gifting peace.
Amy Jensen's devotional talk inspired me because she talked about her sister's contribution to a blog prior to her death from cancer. I now wish I had recorded all my whirling thoughts and feelings and prayers during my own bout with cancer. At the time, and even since, I have wanted to forget about it completely. I didn't want a record of it. I didn't want to think about it, contemplate it, or any of the above. I just wanted to forget about it and move on as quickly as I possibly could. But...life is tricky. I haven't been able to move very far from it at all. My healing process has not only been spiritual, but very physical as well. You might think that I mean this in reverse? But, no. They have both been hand in hand all the time. And as difficult as the spiritual healing has been for me, the physical has been brutal. I'm still healing and have very little patience with the process. Reflecting upon the speaker's sister's contemplations, I have been in a very different place.
The healing during cancer treatments was almost divine. It was a time of growing very close and personal with my Savior and my Heavenly Father. I was preparing to go home. I was trying my best to be ready. I could die. At any time.
But when I didn't--when I lived--things changed. The real battle for my life began.
Satan is real. He is a thwarter. He is a fiddler with our lives--our happiness. We cannot afford to listen to his voice, his temptations. Life has been tough because I have not healed well. I have not been able to get over being sick. My body, in every way, has gotten sicker. I have not healed from cancer. Satan has done his part to see me depressed. It's worked abundantly well. On many occasions, I have been tempted to take my own life and forget living in this state. But...
I've ignored him. Instead, I have chosen to listen to my Savior, and also to my Heavenly Father. They see me differently than Satan does. They see my whole life--past, present, future--in one moment. I have chosen to follow them. Now, I am the thwarter. I daily, most times, hourly--minute by minute--thwart Satan's plan to destroy me.
This plan works for all of us.
The process of healing has been long and arduous. I doubt now that it will ever be over. But, I am doing my best at it. This process includes both the spiritual aspects and physical too. As much struggle as life brings, there is also those precious moments of joy and happiness. Like yesterday. I was able to go to church, for the first time since January, and listen to my daughter, give a talk on the Atonement. She did very well. She gets it. She understands it. I'm grateful. She will grow to understand it even better as she grows older. We're all so blessed with this special gift given us by our Savior. Each of us, because of Him, will be resurrected someday. This does bring me joy and peace, especially because I do want to be with loved ones again. Even as I sit here typing, I just received a phone call from my Home Teacher simply calling to say how he enjoyed our daughter's talk and wanted me to pass it along to her. That touched my heart that he would take time out of herding cattle to call and say such a nice thing.
We also enjoyed a delicious dinner yesterday celebrating Easter. The girls helped me. It's nice having teenage daughters who want to help in the kitchen. It would be a completely different experience if I had to force their help...and knowing me, I would have. :) Thankfully, they accept being taught how to make a ham, etc. We also enjoyed scalloped potatoes (boxed, because I didn't want to slave on a Sunday), stuffing (again, boxed), gravy, deviled eggs (from all those Easter eggs), with condiments and a fresh drink. Apple juice and gingerale...yum!
Well, I told myself that since it was a holiday, I was going to enjoy this wonderful meal. I did enjoy it. It just didn't prove to be a smart thing. I've been on a careful diet for liver damage and diabetes for a few months. It's a good thing, and it is helping my health, overall. But I'm seeing that any time I step outside those provided guidelines, my body has a difficult time with certain foods. Again, I'm learning.
Well, enough for today. There will probably be no rhyme or rhythm to my blog posts, but I do believe I've said enough for one day.
To all of you who read my words, I do hope you feel something more than my whining. I probably will do more of it. But, again, my purpose is to help others see good in their lives. There is something good in our lives each day. It's those small moments that we must challenge ourselves to hold on to that bring us joy. The opposition we experience has the ability to make us more than we presently are.
All my blessings to you,
Ellise
Love you!!!!! \O/
ReplyDeleteAww! Thanks! Hope your Easter was fine? Sure love you back! <3
DeleteSis
Ellise, just wanted to tell you I love you very much, and am so very thankful to call you friend for so many years! You have always been an inspiration to me, and I wish we lived closer. Miss you
ReplyDelete